Sharing our story - Part 3

We started Part 1 of our story with our journey through infertility and continued Part 2 with our struggle through secondary infertility and pregnancy loss. 

During the recovery following our final miscarriage, I found myself often crying out to the Lord for comfort.  I was so confused about how and why we were experiencing repeated, intense loss and I just felt hopeless about our situation.  One afternoon, while resting in bed, alone in prayer – I heard what seemed like an audible voice say to me, “I will give you a baby.”  I sat straight up in bed - completely startled – half expecting to see someone else in the room.  Nope.  I was alone, but I was also confused and pretty certain I could NEVER tell anyone what had happened because they would undoubtedly think I was crazy! 

In my heart I knew exactly what I had heard.

So I shared the details of that day with my husband and my mom {not sure if they thought I was crazy or not, lol} and with absolute peace in my heart, I closed the chapter on my grief with confidence in the words I had heard.  He was going to give us a baby.  It’s funny how a person can hear such a clear message from the Lord, and then jump immediately to your own conclusions regarding what that means.  For us, with a history of infertility, I assumed a miraculous “unexpected” pregnancy would come along at some point so we went on with life and waited for that surprise happy ending to come along. 

{Why would I presume to think that I understand His ways?!}

My husband’s career brought a cross-country move from Denver to Atlanta where we settled in, made new friends, and tried to heal the aches that lingered while we waited for our surprise pregnancy.  We quietly watched as our friends added to their families.  Second children.  Third children.  Fourth and fifth children.  We congratulated and smiled….silently marking all the passing anniversaries of what “should have been” while hoping {and waiting with growing impatience} for what He said would come.

It is Well with My Soul Wood Art by Scripted Simplicity

I once heard Jennifer Rothschild, author of Lessons I Learned in the Dark, say, “It may not be well with your circumstances, but it can be well with your soul.”   I worked on being "well with my soul," and slowly began to see the silver lining of our circumstances.

Having one child does have its perks. 

Scripted Simplicity Sharing Our Story Part 3 Walle

You're never outnumbered.  Only one college savings account necessary.  No minivan required.  Sleepover invitations mean instant date night!  Extra time to make AWESOME costumes & be the envy of the whole neighborhood (my husband is the genius behind WallE).  The list is pretty long!  LOL 

But truthfully, as time moved on, those words I heard spoken to me during my grief seemed more like an odd memory than a promise I clung to…..and we actually began to leave the dream of more children behind.

The same could not be said for our sweet boy’s opinion on the situation.  He constantly mentioned being lonely and prayed faithfully for a sibling.  It broke our hearts. We hugged him and comforted his hurting heart by reminding him that God’s ways are perfect although sometimes we don’t understand them. 

I think he was hearing, "Blah, blah, blah...." because he continued to pray anyway.

{As it turns out, he wasn’t the only one.  Later we learned that during this very same time period, we had friends praying for an inconceivable blessing……one even praying specifically that the Lord would bring us a little girl.}

As for Tim & me, I'm somewhat ashamed to admit that somewhere along the way we stopped asking the Lord for the blessing of another child. Yes, despite having heard those words spoken to me years before – I completely stopped believing much less asking.

Time went by….seven years actually…..and we found ourselves reaching the halfway point in our parenting journey. Our boy was nine years old and cruising through his 3rd grade year {and still praying almost daily for a sibling}, then…..

April, 2011. 

One phone call.

A boy’s answered prayer.

A Father’s promise revealed.

“I will give you a baby.”

Come back for Part 4!  It’s pretty much unbelievable!  He is a Good, Good Father.


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